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I can't be bothered to dig up a clever quote for the title.

Not much has changed. Not that I expect it to change. No one takes an interest in my happiness or tries to help me be happy. My sister gives me links to clinics and counselors but I am not ready for that yet. I don't know that I will ever be. My parents don't seem to care, as long as I don't outwardly appear unhappy.

I need to change something but I don't have the resources yet. I want a different job, but anything in my interests would mean I'd have to move cities. Which I don't mind doing, but I don't have a US license or car yet. And I don't have the money necessary to move.

I love my space right now, actually. My room is a nice size, there is space for everything. I'm starting to open up to my interests and hobbies again. I'm paying more attention to my dolls, my books, games, and everything.

Right now I'm in a huge week at work, they've scheduled me for 6 days in a row when previous they never scheduled me more than 3 days in a row before. I hate that. Today I left early because I wasn't feeling well. I wasn't. I was tired, impatient and I knew that if I didn't just go home and sleep, I would probably end up being snippy to a customer.

I did get Employee of the Month at work. I know that they appreciate my work. I also get feedback from other employees that they think I'm good at what I do, that they appreciate how I listen to them and help out when needed. I always think of it just as doing my job. But I am from a different school of work ethic than most.

I'm hoping to get a good night's sleep and start tomorrow with a better outlook. I just have to keep thinking 'This is temporary. Calm down. This isn't your whole life. It's a means to an end.'

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Aequitas Veritas

August 2012

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